Welcome to My World (Both of Them)

10/4/25

I've been living in my head for as long as I can remember.

Born in Buffalo, moved to Columbus after high school, got into the workforce like you're supposed to. But I was never really present. My mind was always somewhere else. Building worlds and getting lost in places that didn't exist. It made me weird to most ( i guess). It cost me friendships, relationships, jobs. People could tell I wasn't quite there, even when I was standing right in front of them.

For 46 years, I thought this was just who I was. This is me. The guy who overthinks everything. The one who's always distracted. or looking for an exit. Then this year, after a particularly bad breakup, I finally saw a psychiatrist. I was certain I was the problem, Anxiety and depression, she said. Not too surprise, but having words for it changed something.

That new info opened me in a way I wasn't expecting. Instead of trying to fix myself or force my way back into a world that never quite felt like it fit, I did the opposite. I went deeper into my inner world. But this time, I brought a pen and I took notes!

I've been worldbuilding for years. I was just daydreaming, really. I had places and people in my mind, never thinking I'd actually do anything with them. So now I'm writing my first book. A progression fantasy with LitRPG elements about a man trying to overcome his own heartache and grief while trapped in an alien refugee camp, fighting to break free alongside other lost humans.

Sound familiar? Yeah, it's not subtle. My protagonist is dealing with a lot of what I'm dealing with. The difference is, he gets to level up and fight his way out. I have to do it the hard way.

This website exists because I'm tired of keeping everything inside. I'm writing this book, yes, but I'm also trying to figure out how to live in both worlds. The one I create and the one I actually live in. This blog is going to be messy AF. It's going to be about how I handle my fitness journey, writing, isolation, and the weird process of finally taking myself seriously as a creator when im in the 3 quarter of life.

I don't know if anyone will read this. Maybe that's not the point. But if you're here, if you're someone who also lives too much in your head, or who's trying to turn pain into something that matters, or who just likes progression fantasy and wants to follow along so, welcome.

I'm CS, and I'm finally writing my story down.

Let's see where this goes.